It may be very hard to
believe but actually my neighbor plays a great role in my happiness. While the
presence of a friendly but an economically or otherwise inferior can
make me feel good about myself, a richer neighbor can increase my
stress and dissatisfaction. The envy distaste in the latter case
increase upto the level where we start wishing his downfall and this
thought makes us happy. It is the most common phenomenon and in short
it can be summarized as “people living in a neighborhood inferior
to them are happier to those in a superior neighborhood”. Reason is
simple. Evolution, whether physiological or psychological hasn't yet
removed the primitive notion of insecurity of the being and it still
lies always submerged within my conscious and the subconscious. Even
a child gets insecure when his mother holds or even appreciates
another child. Sometimes even a younger brother or sister can raise
this insecurity. In short, inside we feel very insecure. The fact is
that even in the today's developed and urban world most of our
reactions are guided by the 'Fight or Flight' mechanism inside our
mind, which sees every person as a threat or a prey (to put it
crudely) and every event either as an opportunity or a danger. What a
fearful live we live 24/7. Perhaps that's why we feel most safe and
relaxed inside our own home. This insecurity makes itself the biggest
of our enemies by changing our perspective of the whole universe. We
construct a world inside our mind, where actions and words of persons
and the persons themselves are either 'Good' or 'Bad', with ourselves
being good all the time and others non-aligning to our views being
bad. Funny that each of us feel himself a person better than the
other, who also feel the same. Due to this same reason, soothsayers,
palmists, astrologist, tantriks etc impress any client immensely by
telling each of them that, “You are getting results much lesser
than your efforts deserve.” or “You do more for others than
others do for you.” or “You do not get respect or gratitude that
you deserve.” It is just a psychological trick utilizing my
insecurity. Similarly most of advertisements of cosmetic and health
products, apparels, child care, financial products and even mobiles
and automobiles aim at magnifying our insecurity. The salesman does
the same by telling us that “this is the last piece” or “This
is already sold” or “This i have kept specially for you”. Even
the fear of losing out forces us to buy unimportant products at
higher prices after they are sold at 'Flat Discounts' (mostly after
raising the price) etc. Our choices of apparel, jewelery, vehicle,
equipments and even investment is guided by what others are doing.
As would have been clear
by now that besides making the life stressful and sometimes
miserable, our insecurity prohibits us seriously from becoming
ourselves and realize the full potential each of us carry within.
Now to make the the lift
stressful, calm , relaxed and happy, the first step can be accepting
and forgiving others. However bizarre it might seem, each of us is
guided by the same objectives such as increasing possession of wealth
and property, getting recognition, having financial security, having
a better package/house/car than the other etc and each of us leaves
under the same fears such as losing wealth etc and the other guy
having a better package/house/car etc. Inside we are very little
different from others in the same age profile. So let us drop the
notion of good or bad or better etc and accept ourselves as whatever
we are and the other as whatever they seem to be. Then we start
forgiving them for what they seem to have said or done as they are
also human. This forgiving exercise includes family members,
neighbors, colleagues, people in our circle and our leaders etc. One
by one all of the people we have any small grudge inside against need
to be forgiven in our mind. We need to visualize ourselves shaking
hands and hugging them and actually also need to do so. Once this is
completed we feel a lot lighter, happier, and peaceful than we would
have felt ever. By regularly forgiving others it is us who gain most
in all terms.
Forgive, because this is
the only key to happiness and peace!
Forgive all, for your own
sake!
God not only wanted us to
be good but actually he wanted us, his children, to be happy, when he
told us to Love our neighbor!
Peace to you!
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