I had made many enemies. Well everyone does, especially those who are doing good. Some were at my workplace, some in my colony and Some in the relations as well. All of them wanted to see my downfall. Some of them, my greatest enemies, wanted to see my and my name completely destroyed. I had to be on my own guard to protect myself from their machinaction and evil designs. It was becoming more and more difficult to survive and be at peace. Thoughts of them used to rule in my mind before I slept and after I awoke. Sometimes thier evil presence ruined my dreams too.
Then i met somebody, somebody who taught me how to finish my enemies instead. I learnt an easy and successful way to eliminate my enemies.
The way was very simple.
I developed friendship with them. It is better to win a friend than to destroy an enemy and the best way to be peace.
I was eliminating enmity instead of enemies and to have your enemy shed his enmity, it was me who had to do it first.
First of all I accepted them as other humans who had the common human failures. They were as prone to ego, self righteous approach, the folley of judging others as was I. They also misinterpreted words and attached motived to words or actions. You know, words are the worst form of communication possible. Every word, every phrase, every reference and example, every rise and fall in tones has separate intonations for separate persons.
In fact, what we hear in a sentence is what we actually think , the speaker likely to say. Shockingly, as soon as the speaker opens his mouth, we start forming our own version of what he is going to say, what he is saying and what he has said. Also, the same sentence has separate meaning and motive for us for separate speakers. Our own words are always wise and words of those we have faith in, such as our Guru, are gospel truths. However same sentences if spoken our enemies or considered lesser to us, we find them bookish, stupid or sometimes superficial or show off. This means than words have no fixed meaning for us and hence there is a hell lot of possibility of misunderstandings and confusions. Look around, such incidences happen on dozens a day basis, because we do't understand each other or keep judging others continuously with every word or action and the motives we attach to both of them. Even great wars like Mahabharat started with some thoughtless statements that were taken too seriously. Even the biggest conflicts in our family start with some misunderstood words.
Main reason we make enemies is because of the miscommunication and or the lack of communication.
Lack of communication can create fences between not only neighbors, colleagues or friends but also destroy completely the love between relatives and worst between a couple. The marriage counsellors, what do they do if not to emcourage the couple to have a conversation. Falling in Love was easiest, but loving each other enough to forgive them is the hardest part. This Great wall of silence can be so intimidating that nobody even dares to try to speak the first word.
We think that "Why should I say sorry or start the talk. It was I who was right. It was I who was hurt.". Funny! Everybody thinks himself right and considers himself the victim. It is absurd. In arguments humans are not right or wrong, it is the intolerance, the misunderstanding and most imprortant double standards what is wrong.
A land lord wants his tenant to behave differently than he used to do as a tenant. A subordinates wants his boss to be less bossy than he he himself actually is. A mother in law finds the same behavior and action of the daughter in law objectionable ,which were correct when shes was the daughter in law. A father considers his fashionable son as misguided while the father himself followed the dressing of the movie stars of his own times. This is what we humans are prone to and therefore forgive other for being so.
This intolerance, self righteousness, the miscommunication and the lack of communication are the reason of maximum conflicts. We think the other is after us so we also should be after him.
Surprisingly, the older a conflict is , the bigger the problem is, the easier it is to be resolved also. All that is needed is the courage to take the first step to walk the distance, extend the first hand or speak the first word. Sometimes a "Hi!" will demolish the wall of silence and enmity faster than the Joshuah's trumpet and the walls of Jericho in the biblicale tale. Sitting down and talking it over can resolve most of the issues of the world. The problem is the lack of courage to initiate dialogue. I have seen years of conflict of groups of people resolving after a 30 minute chat. What is funny that sometimes the actual root of conflict was so miniscule and sometimes out of the memory to.
Another advice, " A good memory is a curse. Forgetfullnes is divine."
Why cherish the trash of the worst experience of our life in the mind! Do we keep broke glassware or torn shoes in the cupboard? Keep the mind also adorned with the brightest flowers of great memories and optimism just like your drawing room.
Also, never never ever be afraid to initiate the resoultion. Making the first call is not insulting but earns honour. It does not show weakness, it displays strength. It is not in any way inferior. Also you are doing it more for your own happiness and peace than for others.
So, when I developed the courage to walk the first step and shake hands, sit down to talk and extend arms to embrace my enemy, to forgive them for being what I also am like sometimes, that was the day I started eliminating my enemies.
Now I can't think of any existing enemies. I have eliminated all of them, by making them Friends.
